Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
