seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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