toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize