Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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