Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize