no, he came in my armpit
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
