Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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