i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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