he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
