I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
