she was so not down for the gang bang
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
