I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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