If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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