he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
