recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
