At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
