yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
