Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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