Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
