im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
