she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Drake has all the answers
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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