Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
