i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
well most of my day revolves around power hour
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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