Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
