Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
