And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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