he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
