Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
