Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
