ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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