Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
