Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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