he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
