I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
