have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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