I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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