He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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