wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
