She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
