The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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