to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
