i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
where does the pee come out of this thing
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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