Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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