I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
