capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
