I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
