Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
