I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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