Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
