people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
