we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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