sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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