i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
