Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
