I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
