Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
