she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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