I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
