Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
