Since when is my name a synonym for head?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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