I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
