I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
