so explain again why im purple
no
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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