So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
